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Just to get my side of the story out before this all turns into drama, but yes, I just defriended ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
marysiak.
I think that the request for people to pay for her to get laser surgery is frankly out of order and seeing people going ahead and doing so is just... sickening for me.
This is not an operation she's in desperate need of. She just doesn't want to wear contacts or glasses anymore. It's like asking your flist to buy you a yearly travelcard because you can't be bothered to walk (even though you could). I have people on my flist who have been in utterly desperate situations and never dreamed of asking for help, let alone for something they want rather than need.
Right now, so soon after the crisis in Burma/Myanmar, when people are truly suffering and need all the help they can get, it seems in bad taste generally to ask for something that can be done without. In fact, I find asking people to pay for something that is based on preference, rather than critical necessity, pretty shameful. And selfish.
"I want this and I expect my friends to pay for it for me."
That's just not right, in my book.
So, there you have it. I couldn't give much of a fuck if other people defriend me because of this view - that's your prerogative. I give what I can afford to the people who need it in order to survive, to the people who have nothing because of where they live in the world, or the environment they live in, not to people who expect hand outs because they're too impatient to wait and save for themselves.
marysiak.I think that the request for people to pay for her to get laser surgery is frankly out of order and seeing people going ahead and doing so is just... sickening for me.
This is not an operation she's in desperate need of. She just doesn't want to wear contacts or glasses anymore. It's like asking your flist to buy you a yearly travelcard because you can't be bothered to walk (even though you could). I have people on my flist who have been in utterly desperate situations and never dreamed of asking for help, let alone for something they want rather than need.
Right now, so soon after the crisis in Burma/Myanmar, when people are truly suffering and need all the help they can get, it seems in bad taste generally to ask for something that can be done without. In fact, I find asking people to pay for something that is based on preference, rather than critical necessity, pretty shameful. And selfish.
"I want this and I expect my friends to pay for it for me."
That's just not right, in my book.
So, there you have it. I couldn't give much of a fuck if other people defriend me because of this view - that's your prerogative. I give what I can afford to the people who need it in order to survive, to the people who have nothing because of where they live in the world, or the environment they live in, not to people who expect hand outs because they're too impatient to wait and save for themselves.
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Marysia has been a friend of mine for over a decade. Despite the fact that she earns a fraction of what I do, I know she donated to something I did not need (or expect, or ask for) when my friends had a whip round for me, something that touched me in a way that few other things in my life ever have. The fact that you and your little gang here are self-righteously failing to take into account is that *she's done the same for other people*.
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Either tell me I'm wrong to help my friend, or have the honesty to admit that you may not have had the full picture, please.
We may not speak much these days, but I have always thought of you as someone with the integrity to know when you have stepped over a line.