*hugs* I can understand that, and I meant to reply to your comment before, but it got lost in my inbox - the thing that allowed me to stop, the only thing, was removing the catalyst.

I left home, I changed my life for myself, I got out of the situations where I wanted to or felt I needed to. And I've been away from home for seven years and haven't done it for maybe six... six and a half?

I still had to give someone a bronze age dagger I'd made, for safe keeping, a few years back, but now I'm fine. I have lost the triggers and found the strength to push through it. And I know you can do that, too.

Focus on an incentive. Give yourself a reason to want to do it, and believe that you can. You've given up far worse and you've come this far. Make that push.