*hugs* I took a long time replying to everyone to be fair, because even going near that post was triggering - it's not taking a whole lot at the moment.

I've come to the grand conclusion, after removing everything that I thought was the problem - moving away from my parents, getting out of the refuge - that I have a serious need for therapy for all the shit my parents and other people have done to me over the years.

I really did think I was in the clear from this shit. I hadn't thought about it in so long - the last time before I restarted was actually connected with a side reason I came to the decision to stop drinking. (I thought it was a year, it was actually in February.) At the moment, it's just a case of taking each day as it comes and not kicking myself too hard in the ass when I give in.