rosiedoes | (no subject)

Just to get my side of the story out before this all turns into drama, but yes, I just defriended

marysiak.

I think that the request for people to pay for her to get laser surgery is frankly out of order and seeing people going ahead and doing so is just... sickening for me.

This is not an operation she's in desperate need of. She just doesn't want to wear contacts or glasses anymore. It's like asking your flist to buy you a yearly travelcard because you can't be bothered to walk (even though you could). I have people on my flist who have been in utterly desperate situations and never dreamed of asking for help, let alone for something they want rather than need.

Right now, so soon after the crisis in Burma/Myanmar, when people are truly suffering and need all the help they can get, it seems in bad taste generally to ask for something that can be done without. In fact, I find asking people to pay for something that is based on preference, rather than critical necessity, pretty shameful. And selfish.

"I want this and I expect my friends to pay for it for me."

That's just not right, in my book.

So, there you have it. I couldn't give much of a fuck if other people defriend me because of this view - that's your prerogative. I give what I can afford to the people who need it in order to survive, to the people who have nothing because of where they live in the world, or the environment they live in, not to people who expect hand outs because they're too impatient to wait and save for themselves.

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I've worn glasses since I was five. Because I wore my contacts too long when I got them in high school, I can no longer wear them. I have really messed up eyes and when you stick me in direct sunlight, I'm pretty blind. I can't get those lovely transition lenses (that change from sunglasses to normal glasses) because my prescription is far too high. And my glasses? Are around $600 - and that's buying them at Costco.

So yeah, I'd love to get laser eye surgery. I could wear sunglasses and be comfortable in the summer and it'll be really amazing all round. But I would never ask my flist to pay for it. I know it'll be several years before I can afford the operation and I'll just have to be patient and budget and save up. But I think asking for hand outs for something like this is appalling - especially when I have a co-worker whose father lost his eye in an accident but doesn't qualify for disability from the gov't, so he has to pay so much money for all these operations and he can't work. I mean, I'd gladly give them money in a heartbeat because the poor man is unemployed, extremely sick and in a lot of pain. But for someone who just wants laser eye surgery faster? No. You've just got to have patience.

Well, exactly. I just don't understand why people on her flist are doing it. I just don't get that.

They've clearly got money to burn.

>>>I just don't understand why people on her flist are doing it. I just don't get that.<<<

Marysia has been a friend of mine for over a decade. Despite the fact that she earns a fraction of what I do, I know she donated to something I did not need (or expect, or ask for) when my friends had a whip round for me, something that touched me in a way that few other things in my life ever have. The fact that you and your little gang here are self-righteously failing to take into account is that *she's done the same for other people*.

I note, by the way, that you have no response to this, and yet have not yet said in the same public manner that you slagged my friends off that actually, there *are* reasons why she might be able to ask for help, and reasons that people might be disposed to give such help as they can.

Either tell me I'm wrong to help my friend, or have the honesty to admit that you may not have had the full picture, please.

We may not speak much these days, but I have always thought of you as someone with the integrity to know when you have stepped over a line.

High index lenses are available with Transitions. At Target Optical, you'd pay $225 for the high index (with scratch, UV and non-glare) and an additional $100 for Adjust-tint, the Luxottica version of the Transitions technology. Frames range from 99.99 to about $159.99, so without insurance you'd be around $450 or so if you're not doing a sale. You can also get 10% off for applying for one of those awful Target Visa cards.

What is your script? A lot of people think they must have specialty lenses because too many opticians tell them so, when it isn't the case. High index costs a lot more, obviously, so I've seen some places put anybody over a -4.00 in it, which is ridiculous. If you don't actually need a high index lens, you can get a full pair for $99, adding $100 for the photochromatic tint.

My prescription is -9.5 in my right eye and -3 in my left eye. And I live in Canada, so no Target for me :P

But yes, I definitely need the high index - when I was a kid, my right nostril was flattened by the weight of my glasses on the one side. It took a few years for it to become even with the left one.