![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
All these things I hate...
On Friday (a week today), Julie is coming to visit for the weekend. It'll be nice to see each other, but it does also serve a purpose.
Three months after what happened with the RP, and my then 'girlfriend' (hah.), and how it destroyed Band of Brothers for us, we plan to watch the series together. For the first time in a quarter of a year.
At the time, we were watching it every single day, to some extent. Re-watching eps for details, or just because we loved them. I think I've seen Bastogne and The Breaking Point about fifty times each. Certain scenes, hundreds of times. I adore that series. The men it depicts are genuinely my heroes. I wear the jumpwings of the 101st Airborne (the chute and wings motif) on my jacket. Through the RP, I fell completely for the characters of Skip, Penk, Malark and [Tiny Wee Hero] Harry Welsh. In all sincerity, I loved that series.
But the break up of the RP really hurt. Really, really, really. I still get painful clenches in my stomach when I think about the way people behaved, and how shocking it was to be turned on by people who had been my confidantes when the 'girlfriend' was tormenting me with her behaviour (blanking me one minute, planning a future together the next).
As much as the RP had taken a turn for content which was completely against my sensibilities, I can't help but miss it, sometimes. It was a lot of fun when it was at its best. And it comprised most of the most active members of the fandom. So, these days, the only people Julie and I have to share our love of the series with, is each other.
But for all this time, both of us have been too hurt and angry at what happened to be able to.
And just now, while surfing the net with the TV on, I heard a voice I recognised without needing to look up, saying words I knew like the back of my hand. Buck Compton. Julie's boy. Replacements. A trailer for the series, which is being shown one of the academic channels.
It made me cry. I'm so afraid of finding I can never watch the series again without torturing myself with what happened. Because although I usually brave face it, what they did to me - and Julie - and how they got away with it, isn't something I can forget, forgive, or apparently get over.
I was just starting to trust people again. How I wish I'd never met them.
It's never going to be the same again.
Three months after what happened with the RP, and my then 'girlfriend' (hah.), and how it destroyed Band of Brothers for us, we plan to watch the series together. For the first time in a quarter of a year.
At the time, we were watching it every single day, to some extent. Re-watching eps for details, or just because we loved them. I think I've seen Bastogne and The Breaking Point about fifty times each. Certain scenes, hundreds of times. I adore that series. The men it depicts are genuinely my heroes. I wear the jumpwings of the 101st Airborne (the chute and wings motif) on my jacket. Through the RP, I fell completely for the characters of Skip, Penk, Malark and [Tiny Wee Hero] Harry Welsh. In all sincerity, I loved that series.
But the break up of the RP really hurt. Really, really, really. I still get painful clenches in my stomach when I think about the way people behaved, and how shocking it was to be turned on by people who had been my confidantes when the 'girlfriend' was tormenting me with her behaviour (blanking me one minute, planning a future together the next).
As much as the RP had taken a turn for content which was completely against my sensibilities, I can't help but miss it, sometimes. It was a lot of fun when it was at its best. And it comprised most of the most active members of the fandom. So, these days, the only people Julie and I have to share our love of the series with, is each other.
But for all this time, both of us have been too hurt and angry at what happened to be able to.
And just now, while surfing the net with the TV on, I heard a voice I recognised without needing to look up, saying words I knew like the back of my hand. Buck Compton. Julie's boy. Replacements. A trailer for the series, which is being shown one of the academic channels.
It made me cry. I'm so afraid of finding I can never watch the series again without torturing myself with what happened. Because although I usually brave face it, what they did to me - and Julie - and how they got away with it, isn't something I can forget, forgive, or apparently get over.
I was just starting to trust people again. How I wish I'd never met them.
It's never going to be the same again.
no subject
Sometimes I really wish I'd never met her and spent that year together, but also I know it was one of my best years and all we can do now is shake ourselves up and move on.
I hope you two can just relax and have a great evening together.
no subject
I don't want her here. It's nothing personal to her, but I was avoiding them. I don't want them around here and spoiling my new journal, too.
no subject
I mean I don't write BOB fANDOM!
I am just a fan of BOB and know the vets and some actors and I respect them.
Sorry if you don't undertsnad my point of view.
no subject
It's not about who you write, it's about who your friends are. I don't want the people on your flist to friend me or know where this journal is.
I'm sorry. Please defriend me.
no subject
no subject
that's pitty that you judge me whitout knowing me, it's not because I know some LJ user that write BOB Fandam that I write that too.
no subject
I used to be a member of that fandom. The people there really hurt me and made my best friend and I leave the fandom altogether. If you read the post you're commenting in carefully, you might understand, because I think you were a witness to it happening.
I don't want to read posts by someone who is talking about people I used to know, and I would prefer it if they weren't provided with a convenient link to my new journal.
It really is nothing personal. It's about the fandom in general - and you're obviously part of the fandom.
You actually have, or had, my old journal friended.
no subject
it's just that I find that damage that you dont wanna know me because I know a bit some LJ about BOB Fandom.
Anyway, until next time ( maybe)
bye,
lux
no subject
I don't want it to be spoiled.
Thanks for understanding.
xx
no subject
well i have an msn adress if one day you wanna know me a bit more, except from LJ.
bye
no subject