All these things I hate...
Friday, 6 October 2006 11:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rosiedoesOn Friday (a week today), Julie is coming to visit for the weekend. It'll be nice to see each other, but it does also serve a purpose.
Three months after what happened with the RP, and my then 'girlfriend' (hah.), and how it destroyed Band of Brothers for us, we plan to watch the series together. For the first time in a quarter of a year.
At the time, we were watching it every single day, to some extent. Re-watching eps for details, or just because we loved them. I think I've seen Bastogne and The Breaking Point about fifty times each. Certain scenes, hundreds of times. I adore that series. The men it depicts are genuinely my heroes. I wear the jumpwings of the 101st Airborne (the chute and wings motif) on my jacket. Through the RP, I fell completely for the characters of Skip, Penk, Malark and [Tiny Wee Hero] Harry Welsh. In all sincerity, I loved that series.
But the break up of the RP really hurt. Really, really, really. I still get painful clenches in my stomach when I think about the way people behaved, and how shocking it was to be turned on by people who had been my confidantes when the 'girlfriend' was tormenting me with her behaviour (blanking me one minute, planning a future together the next).
As much as the RP had taken a turn for content which was completely against my sensibilities, I can't help but miss it, sometimes. It was a lot of fun when it was at its best. And it comprised most of the most active members of the fandom. So, these days, the only people Julie and I have to share our love of the series with, is each other.
But for all this time, both of us have been too hurt and angry at what happened to be able to.
And just now, while surfing the net with the TV on, I heard a voice I recognised without needing to look up, saying words I knew like the back of my hand. Buck Compton. Julie's boy. Replacements. A trailer for the series, which is being shown one of the academic channels.
It made me cry. I'm so afraid of finding I can never watch the series again without torturing myself with what happened. Because although I usually brave face it, what they did to me - and Julie - and how they got away with it, isn't something I can forget, forgive, or apparently get over.
I was just starting to trust people again. How I wish I'd never met them.
It's never going to be the same again.
Three months after what happened with the RP, and my then 'girlfriend' (hah.), and how it destroyed Band of Brothers for us, we plan to watch the series together. For the first time in a quarter of a year.
At the time, we were watching it every single day, to some extent. Re-watching eps for details, or just because we loved them. I think I've seen Bastogne and The Breaking Point about fifty times each. Certain scenes, hundreds of times. I adore that series. The men it depicts are genuinely my heroes. I wear the jumpwings of the 101st Airborne (the chute and wings motif) on my jacket. Through the RP, I fell completely for the characters of Skip, Penk, Malark and [Tiny Wee Hero] Harry Welsh. In all sincerity, I loved that series.
But the break up of the RP really hurt. Really, really, really. I still get painful clenches in my stomach when I think about the way people behaved, and how shocking it was to be turned on by people who had been my confidantes when the 'girlfriend' was tormenting me with her behaviour (blanking me one minute, planning a future together the next).
As much as the RP had taken a turn for content which was completely against my sensibilities, I can't help but miss it, sometimes. It was a lot of fun when it was at its best. And it comprised most of the most active members of the fandom. So, these days, the only people Julie and I have to share our love of the series with, is each other.
But for all this time, both of us have been too hurt and angry at what happened to be able to.
And just now, while surfing the net with the TV on, I heard a voice I recognised without needing to look up, saying words I knew like the back of my hand. Buck Compton. Julie's boy. Replacements. A trailer for the series, which is being shown one of the academic channels.
It made me cry. I'm so afraid of finding I can never watch the series again without torturing myself with what happened. Because although I usually brave face it, what they did to me - and Julie - and how they got away with it, isn't something I can forget, forgive, or apparently get over.
I was just starting to trust people again. How I wish I'd never met them.
It's never going to be the same again.
no subject
on 2006-10-07 03:15 pm (UTC)it's just that I find that damage that you dont wanna know me because I know a bit some LJ about BOB Fandom.
Anyway, until next time ( maybe)
bye,
lux
no subject
on 2006-10-07 03:19 pm (UTC)I don't want it to be spoiled.
Thanks for understanding.
xx
no subject
on 2006-10-07 03:21 pm (UTC)well i have an msn adress if one day you wanna know me a bit more, except from LJ.
bye
no subject
on 2006-10-07 03:22 pm (UTC)