This Is Not A Democracy

You know, I get that Decaydance is a business and all, but I'm kind of sick of seeing Pete use Fall Out Boy as a free advertising platform.

The new tour line up:

Fall Out Boy
Cobra Starship
Metro Station
All Time Low
Hey Monday

Ugh. I'm obviously not going to this tour (although the UK Tour is still a possibility and I doubt the line-up will change much) it's just... why do we need five bands on a tour, for starters? I'd rather have just have one support - two max - and then get a decent length set from each and not have to stand for so long.

Why do more than half have to be shitty bands on Decaydance that Pete is trying to convince everyone that we must like so we can make him money? Especially when all three bands are shit.

I'm really sick of seeing Hey Monday forced down our throats and his using the FOBR journals to promote them. His own blogs, that's fine - they're independent (even if it is still annoying) - but really. Hey Monday are a poor-man's Paramore (and no, I'm sorry - that isn't a compliment, I don't care what you claim in interviews, HM. Being a cheap rip-off of someone else is never a good thing). Most of the bands he pimps incessantly also suck. I've sat through ATL at Cobra shows - and left during their set every time because they were shit. It's actually quite funny to see them go from headlining above Cobra to being two bands below them.

Also, this may be controversial, but do they really believe, at this stage, that they can follow as high-energy and infectious a band as Cobra, without being, ultimately, an anti-climax? Not because FOB are a bad live band- I wouldn't have seen them so many times if I thought they were, would I? - but because Cobra shows are a party. Everyone is really into it. And after them, without a buffer of other bands in between, the energy is going to change so severely that it won't be quite right.

I saw Cobra supporting FOB as middle support last year; it was the first time I'd ever seen them and they blew me away. Now that I know the band and know their songs, I honestly don't know if a FOB set immediately after would have the same impact as if another band had been supporting them. The bands are just too different in how they manage the crowd.

Even though FOB are my favourite Bandom band, of that line-up, I know I would enjoy the Cobra set the most and I know that all my gig-going friends are pretty much in the same boat.

But yeah; I wonder if Island have realised that they're basically funding Decaydance's tour schedule.

Okay kids - sign the petition to make Gabe go home and rest up, rather than fucking up his voice on tour!

GUILTY PLEASURE VIDEO OMG!

Okay, kids - I have a spare ticket to the Cobra Starship show at the Astoria 2 in London, on 18 May. Does anyone want to come?

xdearlin was hoping to make it over from Germany, but unfortunately she can't make it, now - and fadefromblack and likethepaint both have exams the next day. shiny_starlight doesn't get into England until the Tuesday after, unfortunately, so she can't make it, either.

The ticket is FREE! if somebody like to come.

Also, I have a pair of tickets for the Oxford show for sale. I bought them about a day before Four Year Strong announced they were playing in London the same day - and having seen Cobra Starship a whole lot of times in the past year or so, Julie and I are skipping on this one to go and see FYS.

You can have the pair for £20 (which saves on postage and booking fee). Hit me up and let people know.

shiny_starlight and I are going to see Cobra Starship!

We're doing at least Yeovil and Oxford - the former with likethepaint. We got our tickets this afternoon - I didn't even realise they were on sale until Matte told me.

It's going to be awesome - sixth and seventh time in barely more than a year. More than I've seen Fall Out Boy (six times between the end of January and August).

It's going to be like my birthday holiday all over again. XD

Also: I will be going to London on 18 May if anyone is coming.

Papi Posted Me

Hahahaha. *fangs up*

2007, then.

I keep saying to myself that this year sucked. And I guess in a way it did. I stopped loving my job, I almost walked out. But then, this has also been a fucking amazing year in so many ways.

I sat here, exactly a year ago, listening to From Under the Cork Tree and watching Kerrang! TV intermittently. I had no idea at the time how fucking huge this year would be.

( ...a year in pictures )

At first, I tried whispering: "Gabriel! Gabe Ssssssssaportaaaaaaaa..." Then shouting: "BRO!"

But Gabe Saporta is a sound sleeper, especially after partying all night. And he'd raised a particularly raucous ruckus this evening because his band—our band, really—had just celebrated its one-year anniversary by playing to 10,000 screaming Japanese kids. As I watched him sleep, I could sense he was dreaming about worlds unconquered, mountains unclimbed and parties un-Gabed. I knew he was tired and he needed sleep. But I knew I needed action. So I bit him…I bit him right in the fucking neck.

*********************************************************************************

Phase The First:
When I first met our future savior, he was depressed. His love of underground poker clubs had left him financially ruined and spiritually bankrupt. He'd spent months in his parents’ basement in New Jersey putting together an album of the hookiest, most bangin’ rock songs the world had never heard. But the world wasn’t interested in hearing it, and so he’d given up. I found him wandering the Arizona desert, lost and bewildered and ready to die; beaten down by the sun and the heat, and the many droopy emo bands that were inescapable even there – hundreds of miles from civilization. It was 2005. And I had come from the future with a message for all of humanity: “You’re fucked.”

You see, in the future, Cobras are the only ones who survive. But if mankind was to go out, I had to make sure it went out in style (and not like a bunch of pussy emo kids – or worse, like a bunch of whiny hipsters taking themselves too seriously).

Unbeknownst to Gabe, I had chosen him to lead the charge. He was at such a low in his life, that the sight of a talking snake from the future would not faze him in the least. Plus I knew that despite his current sorry-ass disposition, he had the talent, the songs, and the ambition.

When he danced however, he looked much like Wilt Chamberlain on ecstasy; a mess of limbs and bizarre faces. Fortunately, I was able to upload Fresh Moves version 6.4 onto his mental hard drive. I also uploaded Reason 3.0 so he could learn how to make beats and add a whole new dynamic to his songs. (After all, how was he going to teach all these white kids to dance if his songs didn’t make them want to shake their ass?) Next, I gave him the missing link: a band (called Cobra Starship in honor of me of course), a launching pad (a little movie called Snakes On A Plane), and the sort of music industry mentoring that only a Cobra from the future can provide. Seeds were planted, a deal was signed, and within no-time Cobra Starship's first album, "While the City Sleeps, We Rule The Streets" debuted at #1 on Billboard's New Artists chart.

Phase The Second:
Gabe was a capable soldier, but without comrades, Cobra Starship would always be "just a project." And projects don't take over the world. My vessel needed a real band; a real one, not a label-auditioned set of Hollywood haircuts. With my starship set to "Sweet!," I discovered Ryland Blackinton playing Soldier No.4 in an off-off-off-Broadway production of The King of Siam – and truth be told, I had initially mistaken him for Tom Green. Next was Nate Novarro, an Atlanta drum tech who got so excited that he almost ran me over on his way out of town. In order to test his devotion to the Cobra, I had his car stolen three days later by my step-brother Larry (it’s now Jupiter’s smallest moon, and Young Nate’s faith never wavered). I rescued Alex Suarez from a two-bedroom flophouse with nine people living in it. Naturally he came without a fight. And lastly, since in the not-so-distant future, all music will be played exclusively on the keytar, I devoted the most time to finding our final member, Vicky T. I could have found her sooner, but she was on Myspace. And snakes don't have fingers (which as you can imagine, makes typing quite the task).

Phase The Third:
Thus outfitted, Cobra Starship hit the road for a rigorous year of touring with the likes of Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, Gym Class Heroes, 30 Seconds to Mars, Cartel, Boys Like Girls and many more. Audiences swelled as the band earned a loyal fan base stretching across the globe. Drunk with ambition (and an herbal-confidence booster from my native planet, which I slipped into their drinks while they were in the bathroom), I convinced the band to embark on a second album to further spread the reach of my gospel. I assigned the sexy role of producer to my most-tenacious minion, LORD GROOVIUS, known to the earth people as Patrick Stump. Coincidentally, the Cobras were already on tour with Fall Out Boy, so the writing process was smooth, quick and easy (like yours truly).

As planned, the band birthed 11 songs from their creative wombs and headed straight to the studio (which is right next door to where I get my capes tailored!). A whirlwind of creativity ensued and before a month had passed the record was complete. But Cobra Starship has a job to do for me, and I have no time to waste. So the day the record was finished, I sent them off to conquer Australia, Europe, and Japan.

Which brings us back to right now. In Tokyo. With Gabe sleeping, my starship parked in a handicap space, and the whole world waiting. Powered by songs like "Guilty Pleasure," and "Damn You Look Good And I’m Drunk (Scandalous)," their second album will launch them further and faster than they've gone before. But before this second coming of the Cobra can convert another soul, Gabe Saporta is going to have to wake up from his venom-induced coma. "Gabe," I whisper, as he starts to stir, "It’s time son".



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MY FAVOURITE BANDS ARE A FUCKING CULT, SUCKERS

Hey kids,

Having an awesome time -
♥ changed a tyre on the Interstate - traffic side! - by ourselves and got the seal of approval from a Random Rugged Dude™ at a gas station, for our handywork;
♥ met Jack The Camera Guy Who Was Clearly The Hottest Person On That Tour (he is so, so cute, guys. SO CUTE!);
♥ watched Cobra & TAI's soundchecks in St Louis;
♥ watched them film the new TAI TV;
♥ met up with the lovely babygotbass & _lolapolooza and had deep and meaningful discussions about the inner-workings of the Wentzmind;
♥ saw two adorable teenage boys who were clearly dating (and couldn't have been more than about sixteen and were very boyish and not at all camp) and spent all the show sitting on the balcony snuggling and being adorably tender with each other, which basically made our night - we all felt insanely proud of them, I think, for having the nerve;
♥ was recorded for the TAI DVD (don't know whether it'll be on there but we were asked to record a message);
♥ met all of Cobra, at last (these kids are genuinely lovely people, really);
♥ met Jay J. and Neeraj from HRE for lunch, with Andy from Hewhocorrupts;
♥ hung out with the awesome guys from the Clan Store (♥ - J will be visiting next year so we're going to hang out);
♥ got my own Bat Heart Bar hoodie made (pics later);
♥ bought the Ninjas, Summer Camp & Drama King Clan shirts (yay!);
♥ got our new tattoos (this is on my outer right forearm):

Jay R. totally got what I meant with the scratchy stars - the girl is amazing and will be in the UK in summer! Woohoo! We have agreed to meet up.

It's been generally awesome, so far. Heading out for breakfast and a drive, now.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes, guys!

♥

#226...



'Free hair products'

(and if you look really closely, a drawing that looks like Alex)