That's the thing: you're not a stupid person - I wouldn't have had you on my flist in the first place, if you were - you're just making stupid decisions. Don't take my word for it. Sit down and really think about this and what matters to you the most. Think about why you're doing this.
If you decide that drinking really isn't that harmful and there really isn't a reason you should stop, that's one thing (I won't approve, but you can go and do what you want); but if you decide that this is something that isn't good for you, doesn't sit well with your ideals or beliefs, then make the conscious decision to regain your control and do right by yourself.
Having the strength to stand up and say, "Okay, I was wrong and I genuinely believe that," whichever lifestyle you choose, is really important. But a smart person will also be able to evaluate what is the best for them in the long term as well as the short.
You're in a stressful position right now. A new environment with new friends and new social activities going on; a lot of people would cave to social norms in order to fit in more - especially if they haven't been accepted in the past - but I put it to you that what's really driving this is your fear that you will lose your place in this group if you don't keep up. Not because they're the kind of people who would do that to you, but because that is the experience you had before.
What does Ellie really believe is the best for her? What will make Ellie the most comfortable in herself? What are the things that she really believes in the most?
Answer these questions for yourself, dude, because no matter how much I rant at you I can't make the decision for you. But figuring this shit out is where your wisdom and strength are. Just do it all for the right reasons.
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on 2008-11-03 02:51 am (UTC)If you decide that drinking really isn't that harmful and there really isn't a reason you should stop, that's one thing (I won't approve, but you can go and do what you want); but if you decide that this is something that isn't good for you, doesn't sit well with your ideals or beliefs, then make the conscious decision to regain your control and do right by yourself.
Having the strength to stand up and say, "Okay, I was wrong and I genuinely believe that," whichever lifestyle you choose, is really important. But a smart person will also be able to evaluate what is the best for them in the long term as well as the short.
You're in a stressful position right now. A new environment with new friends and new social activities going on; a lot of people would cave to social norms in order to fit in more - especially if they haven't been accepted in the past - but I put it to you that what's really driving this is your fear that you will lose your place in this group if you don't keep up. Not because they're the kind of people who would do that to you, but because that is the experience you had before.
What does Ellie really believe is the best for her? What will make Ellie the most comfortable in herself? What are the things that she really believes in the most?
Answer these questions for yourself, dude, because no matter how much I rant at you I can't make the decision for you. But figuring this shit out is where your wisdom and strength are. Just do it all for the right reasons.