shiny_starlight and I have a long history of talking bollocks at each other in a really offensive fashion, purely for our own amusement. When I say offensive, quite often I mean offensive in stereotyping cultures/religions in a very ironic fashion. A couple of years ago, while discussing the heritage of an actor called Boyan Vukelic, we had this conversation:
THIS IS POTENTIALLY OFFENSIVE AND NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. REALLY.Catholicism=Cock....tail.
icedmaple: They're Serbian Orthodox, which is probably a form of Catholic.
icedmaple: ~Loser Smiley at Self~
shiny_starlight: Orthodox is usually a stricter form of Catholicism or whatever religion they are.
icedmaple: Yeah
icedmaple: It's Catholicism with a hardcore, Serbian twist
shiny_starlight: Somehow, that sounds like a cocktail. 'I'll have a Catholiocism with a hardcore Serbian twist please, hold the war thanks.'
icedmaple: ~Dead~
In conclusion:
shiny_starlight: Hmm, Catholicism could be something pure, like vodka or bacardi.
icedmaple: Yeah
icedmaple: Vodka - because it's odourless - and secretive.
icedmaple: Catholics are always hiding stuff for guilt
shiny_starlight: I know we are
icedmaple: ~Sicilian raised~
shiny_starlight: don't get me started on the catholic religion in Ireland. We'll be here all night. I can rant for HOURS on the topic
shiny_starlight: basically, catholicism in Ireland
shiny_starlight: SUCKS
icedmaple: Yes
icedmaple: Well
icedmaple: You were Pagans for the longest
shiny_starlight: true. up the druids!
shiny_starlight: :)
icedmaple: Yes indeed
shiny_starlight: right, back to our (soon to be) booming alcohol business
shiny_starlight: What could the Serbian twist be?
icedmaple: Um
icedmaple: Serbia
icedmaple: I dunno - gun powder?
shiny_starlight: hehe
shiny_starlight: Could work. But I don't think gun shops would give us bullets on the grounds that 'We just want to make a drink'
icedmaple: Hehehe
icedmaple: Something hot, then?
shiny_starlight: tabasco sauce?
shiny_starlight: hehe
icedmaple: Oh yes
icedmaple: Wait
icedmaple: Add some tomato sauce for the, um - Stigmata/Dismembered Civilians and you have a Bloody Mary
icedmaple: Which brings us back to Cathlicism
shiny_starlight: hehe.
icedmaple: We are going to Hell
shiny_starlight: oh well, at least we'll be warm
---
Why do I bring this up? Because I wanted to repost the following conversation, and it reminded us of the shenanigans above. The next passage is probably worse than the above (if you're from Northern Ireland; or the Isle of Man; or just a decent, conscientious person who hates stereotyping and flagrant mocking of the poor, the Irish, the British Empire, snakes and ourselves; or Jimmy Nail), but again, is just dicking around and not to be taken seriously. But you have been warned.
And if you weren't aware, Julie herself is Irish, and I'm... some kind of inter-racial mongrel, frankly. You name it, they fucked my ancestors.
shiny_starlight: my brians is not connected today
icedmaple: Your Brian?
shiny_starlight: my brain. leave me alone. i fell off a horse today.
shiny_starlight: and thats my excuse for stupidity all day
icedmaple: Hahahahaha
icedmaple: WHat's your excuse the rest of the time?
shiny_starlight: *glares*
icedmaple: Hahaha
shiny_starlight: >:P Don't mock the injured-from-falling-off-a-frickin-horse
icedmaple: I'm mocking the afflicted from being Irish
icedmaple: *rofl icon*
shiny_starlight: Oh thats it..... There's no waaaay I'm stopping my english jokes when I move over there now.
icedmaple: What is there to say about the English? We used to own everyone.
shiny_starlight: yeah, until we kicked you out of our country by force.
icedmaple: We didn't want your country anyway.
icedmaple: No snakes.
shiny_starlight: sure you didnt. thats why you did everything to keep it, including kidnapping six of our counties and trying to keep them for yourselves
icedmaple: I think, at this stage, most of us would be happy for you to keep them.
shiny_starlight: you can keep them. theyre a gift.
icedmaple: HAHAHAHAHHA
shiny_starlight: we dont want them eigther
icedmaple: No, no, really - I insist
shiny_starlight: no no, you take them. i hear belfast is lovely this time of year. keep them
shiny_starlight: go visit
shiny_starlight: be british
shiny_starlight: Queen and Country and all that
icedmaple: We only have them so that the poorest part of the UK can be a bit that isn't on the mainland, and we can therefore claim it isn't really ours
shiny_starlight: hahahahahaha
shiny_starlight: but you admit that theyre part of the UK, and we're not. so, by default, they're yours
icedmaple: You're part of the British Isles. Therefore, as their closest neightbours, they're yours.
shiny_starlight: We're only part of the Brisith isles because ye Sassanachs colonised us for 800 years, which leads us again to the whole kicking you out of the country thing, and not being part of the UK, which they are, so no. You can keep them. I'll get a really large chain saw, cut them off from the Republic and gift wrap them for you if you like.
icedmaple: They can drift around and bump into the Isle of Man. We don't like them, either. It's like Royston Vasey on Sea
shiny_starlight: hahahaha. they can rename themselves the Isle of north, or Northern Man, and get together to plot revenge
icedmaple: No, dude, because a Northern Man is Jimmy Nail and no one likes him
shiny_starlight: hahahahhaha
shiny_starlight: So, Isle of North or Isle of Northern is is then.
icedmaple: The Northern Isle
icedmaple: Better still
icedmaple: The Northern Island
shiny_starlight: Better still, don't call them anything at all and ignore them forever.
shiny_starlight: sounds like a good plan to me
icedmaple: They'd never know the difference: it sounds the same, and I doubt anyone there went to school so they can't spell it
shiny_starlight: hahahahahaha
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