Arrivederci, caro mio.

[rosiedoes]

My nonno (my father's father) passed away, this afternoon. He was 89, and had suffered from Parkinson's since before I was born. Over the last six months, his health deteriorated dramatically and suddenly, until Dad and I made an emergency trip out there in February.

He nearly died while we were there, due to a negligent GP, but he hung on until today - despite breaking both hips in a fall a few weeks ago.

One of my clearest memories of him - aside from being the one person who sat with him and held his hand while the doctors tried to unblock a catheter at a critical moment, and the rest of the family flailed around and argued about whose fault it was - was of my brothers and I, then 11, 8 and 6 years old respectively, sitting on the porch at the family's country house and singing rude rhymes in English, while he clapped and cheered, oblivious to the obscenities his grandchildren were chanting.

He was a serious man, with a dry sense of humour. In February, when my cousin's fiance, Gaetano, asked how he was feeling, he glanced at him for a moment and said, "Yeah, I'm going dancing, now," before shuffling into the kitchen in his pyjamas.

Despite being in his late 80s, and working hard for most of his life to support his wife and sons - even moving to Germany for a few years when my father was a child, so that they could afford to rebuild the decrepit family home in Collesano - until Christmas, he was still wandering around the steeply hilled mountain village where he had been born and raised, lugging home food and doing all the things Sicilian men are expected to; a real trooper.

I wish over the years I'd had more time to spend with him, and I think he felt the same, but I'm glad he's passed, because I know he's been in a lot of discomfort and while he was sharp as a knife, mentally, he has had to watch my Nonna - his wife of nearly sixty years - descend into dementia, and I'm glad he's gone before she became unrecognisable.

So, for those of you who drink, raise a glass of Italian red like the wine he used to make from his vinyard, and for those of you who don't, some Nutella on crusty bread is one of the most Italian things in the world. Indulge in his honour.

Buona notte, amore mio. xoxo

Comments

[doctor-denmark.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. I'll think good thoughts in your direction, and raise a slice of bread and nutella in his honour.

[rosiedoes.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hon. ♥

[elethe.livejournal.com]

I hope you are holding up OK.

This post made me cry. I will hold a virtual glass of wine up for your nonno.

[rosiedoes.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks, hon. I get the feeling it would be a relief for him, there's no need to be sad.

[elethe.livejournal.com]

My grandfather on my mother's side died from Parkinson's-related stuff the week after I was born and I don't know the specifics, but you are possibly right. It sounds like a tough disease.

Still, I am sad for him and your family.

[rosiedoes.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm sad for Nonna. I think she'll struggle to understand.

I wonder what they'll do with her, now... My uncle lives in an apartment in Palermo, my dad lives in Scotland... It's a huge house and she's far too stubborn to accept a place in a supported living situation, or even to have a carer.

I'd put money on her passing away within a year, as well.

[returntosender.livejournal.com]

Thinking of you an your family. xxx

[rosiedoes.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hon. xoxo

[lillystars.livejournal.com]

My heartfelt condolences, Rosie.

Your eulogy here is very special. I really liked the memory of you and your siblings singing rude rhymes while he encouraged all of you, seemingly unaware. I always think that grandparents are actually quite aware, but take liberties in their roles to enjoy these things.

To your Nonno!
(glass of virtual red wine)

*Hugs*

[rosiedoes.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hon. He certainly had his moments, and I think he quite liked his role as a long-suffering husband to a typical nagging wife. He was a very placid man, much like my dad, but I always remember the indignant, "MIMI!" he used to bellow when she got on his nerves.

Bless him.

I don't think it'll be long before she joins him.

[lillystars.livejournal.com]

I think it depends on the couple; you could be right and I hope this doesn't sound insensitive, but from what I've observed and heard, women tend to be more resilient than men when it comes to going on.

From what it sounds, your grandparents had a great relationship. :)