Itsy bitsy spider...

[rosiedoes]

Jesus fucking Christ on a bike.

I have just had to get the biggest (I'm not kidding) fucking spider I have ever fucking seen in my entire fucking arachnaphobic life out of my bedroom!

The fucking thing was sitting on a towel on my bedroom floor when I came down from having a bath. It was enormous. Seriously. I had to pick it up in a pint glass and its leg-span was bigger than the mouth of the glass! Considerably so.

You could see every detail of its body.

I thought it was a wolf spider but the fucking thing was so big it was almost the size of a small mammal.

I do know it wasn't a tarantula.

Bearing in mind that I am arachnaphobic (my ex, Kate, would have been sectioned after seeing a spider that big), I am extremely proud of myself for relocating it to the back garden, and then duelling with it to get it off my towel. Which it really did want to hang on to. But I won't be going in the garden for the next week, I can tell you.

HUGE!

*wibbles*

Comments

[scoobygang63.livejournal.com]

Oh my gosh, I would have died. A really huge spider moved into my kitchen recently, and then vanished. I'm so paranoid that it'll turn up in my room and I'll have no way of getting rid of it!

[rosiedoes.livejournal.com]

You have to do the shamanic spider-dance.

Hop about and flap your arms wildly at hip level while shrieking until the Gods send a messenger to dispose of it.