Stargay: Atlantis - A Fansplanation for Faye (Part 1)

[rosiedoes]

This is an introduction to Stargay: Atlantis, for a friend of ours who was, until this evening, unfamiliar with slash. I know. I didn't realise those people still existed, either.

So, in the name of all things slashy, this is our mini-guide to SG:A season one/two-ish.

This is Atlantis. It is a flying city, created by a type of Ancient Alien Superbeings who spawned the human race, and conveniently, every other friendly race in two galaxies (except the Asgard) and liked planets that look suspiciously like Western Canada.





The Expedition

This is Maj. John 'Irresponsibility' Sheppard. He's a bit of a prat and could have been a member of Mensa. He never joined. He's a crack USAF pilot no one ever thought would get to Captain. Of course, he smirks, so they let him. He is Highly Moral. Except when it involves women and killing things. He's also a compulsive smartarse. This man? Is the biggest queen in two galaxies and he has the hair to prove it.


Rodney McKay (real name: Meredith) is Head of Science on Atlantis and he's Canadian. THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE FACT THAT HE HAS A PENIS, BUT NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN HIS VERY SERIOUS HYPOGLYCAEMIA. Or his citrus allergy. Or his other allergies to everything, ever, including the sun, but strangely not including cats. He's not a people person. He thrives gets hysterical under pressure. He thinks he's in love with Samantha Carter from SG-1. In actual fact he just wants to be pretty like her. Rodney is essential to the Expedition, and while he knows it on one level, he is also painfully insecure. He once blew up the majority of a solar system. He's a bit sensitive about that.

Lt. Aiden Ford is the baby brother of 'Sheppard's Team' (they never got around to tagging them, as they did in SG-1). Aiden is the master of the plastic explosive, the flaming obvious and was never, ever allowed to name things. Ever. He's the pretty boy, the loving puppy and the 'every man' character who reacted to things the way Average Joe would do. He was raised by his grandparents and has a heart of marshmallow: soft, squishy and disgustingly sweet.

This is Teyla Emmagan; she can kick your ass. And your dad's. And probably your mum's too. Ironically, she's the leader of the largely-peaceful Athosians, who live on a neighbouring planet. When the team show up and RUIN THEIR FUCKING LIVES in the first episode, she and her people move to Atlantis. She joins Shep's team and proceeds to emasculate him in the training room on a regular basis. People try to ship her with John. Everyone else laughs at them.

Ronon Dex is thorough-bred badass. He was a soldier from an alien planet who got turned into The Running Man (they even call him A Runner in the show). He tried digging his tracer out of his back a few times and didn't manage until the SGA team found him and had Carson remove it. He is an enormous, PMSing teddy bear of a man, who genuinely keeps a cutlery drawer in his hair and has a gun that Sheppard lusts after. He treats Teyla like a sister, and sharing their status as the alien members on the team, they are very close.

Poor Carson Beckett. He's actually a master geneticist, the man who discovered the dormant Ancient gene - in himself. As a result he's bullied into activating Ancient technology which terrifies him, and is treated as the Expedition's GP, even though he's not really qualified in that at all, as far as anyone can tell. He's a middle-aged, Scottish mummy's boy and chronic neurotic, but he really likes Aiden and he's one of Rodney's closest friends, even though they pretend to hate each other.

If Rodney has an arch nemesis amid the Expedition members, Radek Zelenka is it. But he's also one of his nearest friends, one of the few people on his intellectual level and one of the few who can and will put up with his tantrums and bitchiness. He is prone to outburst of rage which often slips into Czech so he can swear imaginatively and has, more than once, been a direct contributing factor to the saving of the entire city. But not that one solar system... He has a very obvious and canonical crush on Elizabeth Weir. Nobody's entirely sure why.

Peter Grodin is one of the chief experts in Ancient Technology. He's the fag to Elizabeth's hag and he's got more mince than the local butcher. He finds great joy in taking Rodney down a peg or six and utterly sparkles when he does so. He's a very well-liked character and part of the little nerdcore gang with Carson and Radek.

Dr. Elizabeth Weir is supposedly a celebrated diplomat. Presumably, that means they celebrated when they shipped her off on a one-way trip to another galaxy. Weir leads the expedition with an iron fist and all the cultural tact of an A-bomb. She will leave people behind if they are captured, dismiss and trample all over your religious beliefs and humiliate her staff in front of entire teams of scientists. She is, it could be said, a grade-A cunt. And we have said it, on many occasions.

If there's something strange, in your alien city, who you gonna call? This dude. Sgt. Bates was never given a first name, so we Christened him Marc(us). He's a hard-ass and his people skills are about as well-honed as Rodney's, but broadly, he is trying to do his job and behave the way he feels a Marine should. Some people hate him for that, but as head of Security on Atlantis, he's cautious and on the ball and he got a bad rap that he didn't deserve.

Sgt. Stackhouse (often named Adam in fandom) was, with Bates, one of the first Marines through the Gate with the Expedition's CO, Col. Sumner. Originally entrusted with his own off-world exploration team, he also ended up stuck in a wormhole (dematerialised) with Markham for a about half an hour and it launched a cult slash pairing. He's generally regarded as a responsible, upstanding Marine, who (despite being portrayed by the same actor) aged about ten years between the double-ep pilot and the third episode of the series.

Sgt. Markham - dubbed Jay/Jamie in certain quarters of fandom (initially, by Rosie and adopted by some others) - was, as far as we know, a natural carrier of the ATA gene and a natural master of the Bitch Face. He was a terrible, terrible pilot. Probably because he was a Marine they'd made learn to fly, rather than a trained pilot they'd put in a spaceship. Markham was in fact a tiny character with an explosive storyline which kickstarted the end of the season. He was adorable in his faildom.




--

Other names you'll hear:
Col. Marshall Sumner - the original leader of the military forces on the Expedition. Played by T1000!
Kavanagh - master of dickery, looks like he plays Dungeons & Dragons, usually has a point.
Simpson - hates Kavanagh.
Biro - pathologist; looks like a bug.
Chuck - Gate Technician; one of the best loved random background characters in the fandom. Was named because Weir accidentally called him by the actor's own name on tape.
Maj. Lorne - didn't show up until season two, which was shit. These two things may be related.

--



In part 2: Why is that dude wearing green? What the fuck is a ZPM? And things called Wraiths that can suck the life out of you with their hands; what the hell is that?