This Is Not A Democracy

Sitting on the bus home, listening to Iko and planning a Sherlock fanvid to Wrecking Ball. Go there and listen to it, I'm sure it's on there.

Imagine it from John's POV. Now we even have a "playing my heartstrings" fill and it will be glorious.

FREE MUSIC BY ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVOURITE BANDS. This is not a joke, or a prank, or phishing. This is free music by a bunch of really nice people from Devon. It's free and all they want is your email address. I completely trust them 100% not to spam you. I'll tell the singer's dad if he abuses your info, I swear.

What do you have to lose?

Last night I went to see some dear friends of mine play a London show for probably the first time in well over a year.

For those of you who remember we talking about the Buffseeds, five or six years ago, it was Kieran, Neil and Rob's new band, Iko, who I've been with since the start. But they live in Exeter (other side of the country) and rarely play shows within easy reach.

Being a Grown Up, now, I don't really have the accessibility I used to, when it comes to just leaving and going to shows.

But last night was just... I stood next to Adrian, Kieran the singer's dad, and Emily, who was a Buffseeds fan when she was thirteen (I took her to the Southampton show on the train and we met her dad down there, because she was so young) - she's twenty this year, and brought her boyfriend (they're adorable). Dean, who was always terrified of me on the Buffboard was also there - he'd come from Birmingham. Two big, butch shaven-headed dudes who look super-scary, but were always massive, massive Buffseeds fans were there(and if you go and listen to Harpoon, which is Iko's most Buff-like track, on their MySpace you'll get an idea of how Buffs used to sound and how hilarious it is that they'd have fans like that) and we all remembered each other from 2003.

Now, most of you probably don't know this, but the Buffseeds basically saved my life. When Kieran almost knocked me out with a door at the Dublin Castle in Camden, I'd been kicked out of home a month before, and was staying with my nan. I was listening to pretty nihilistic bands and just... not in a good place. I was still self-harming regularly and... you get the picture.

But these guys came along, and I got in touch with Neil through Dave, their bassist's dad and singer's uncle, and we became friends - in the sixteen times I saw them, before they broke up, I never paid once - and I now connect some of my deepest and happiest memories to these guys. The other fans were almost exclusively lovely, lovely people. We were a family. I was the Buffmomma and Andy was the Buffdaddy (no P Diddy ref, no) and we were the Gods of the Buffboard. Collectively, the fans were The Sparkled, after their song Sparkle Me.

People there, were fucking amazing and I miss that dearly.

Over time, I got to know everyone from partners to parents - and in fact Adrian came over and introduced himself to me, asking if I was Rosie, when they played Glastonbury.

Last night, standing in the Enterprise, where they last played on my 20th birthday I actually cried a bit, when they played Harpoon, because it's so exactly what the Buffseeds should have developed into. They were on the same label as The Futureheads, amd had such enormous potential, but it just never really happened, and eventually Ella went to settle down and Joel found himself a career.

If they hadn't announced that Kieran (SnarfK, to me, Ems and Andy), Neil and Rob, who'd joined right at the end, hadn't announced that they would be forming Iko in the same moment they announced that the Buffseeds were over, my heart would honestly have broken.

I love those dudes. Forget Fall Out Boy or Cobra for a second here; I can tell you, beyond any shadow of doubt, that Kieran is one of the sweetest, most decent and genuine people you will ever, ever meet. He's just fucking... amazing. It sounds like a fairytale, but the only way to describe him is really pure of heart. And he has the most beautiful, delicate voice you will ever hear.

He writes about love, but he writes about life and the world around us and all the things that make him - and probably you - want to just ask why the fuck this can happen.

Tacky as it sounds, his voice and lyrics, and the amazing sound (they have a fucking cellist!) is basically like detox for the soul. It will totally drive the emotion out of you, without even necessarily being melancholic. Their music totally, totally carries you.

And I honestly feel blessed to have known them for the last six years.

But I still miss the Buff days so deeply.


Iko



"What is 'happy ever after' if it's not you?"