(no subject)

So, beingothrwrldly asked who we'd sleep with in the FBR family.

I've thought about this a lot and I have come to the following conclusion:

Noes!
- Greta from The Hush Sound. I prefer the ones who look like dudes to actually be dudes. I'm sorry.
- Any of The Hush Sound, because they're really all kind of weird looking. I'm still sorry. I'm sure they're lovely people.
- Panic! at the Disco. Because they're creepy. Not in a bad way... just. Yeah. I would have done Jon but the beard and the shaved head make him look kind of like a convict. But their bodyguard, Zach? Oh yeah.
- Paramore. Because the urge for asphyxiation? Not a kink, just a potential murder rap.
- The Academy Is... NEED TO EAT SOME FUCKING PIES!
- Gym Class Heroes (-Travie). They don't even get an explanation. I just wouldn't.
- Pete Wentz. Ew.

Hmmm...
- Andy Hurley. Way, way too skinny. But then... MESSIAHORLY? Who wouldn't fuck the next Jesus?
- Travie McAlcholic. He's Travie! TRAVIE! But he'd have to be dry for a year first.

YES! YES! YES!
- Cobra Starship. All of them. AT ONCE.
- Gabe Saporta. I don't even know why, man, but this guy actually deserves his own entry. He's far too tall. He's far too skinny. Clearly, it must be the Cobra. (Euphemism? What Euphemism?!)
- Patrick Stump. SRSLY. I don't really know how to explain this kid. He looks so sweet and naive and innocent... but you know, you JUST FUCKING KNOW, he is a kinky little bitch. It's like someone distilled all the Hot Sexxx in the world and poured him full of it. All that cloth-soaking man juice you see in shows? That's the sex spilling over. Ohyesitis.
- JOE 'THE UGLY DUCKLING' TROHMAN. I say only this:



We all know he threw up shortly after this picture. AND IT'S STILL HOT.

I'm kind of annoyed with Troh, though: couldn't he have got hot before I got him tattooed on my wrist?